Recipes for the Student Without Enough Energy to Get Out a Chopping Board: The Egg Scramble

like to cook. But even so, as a full time student, with classes, exams, homework, and labs, a lot of the time, I can’t think of anything I want to do less than go home and make something involving any more effort than one pan, a handful of ingredients, and fifteen minutes.

There is a time and place for ambitious recipes. That time is not in the half hour you have to make and eat food when you’re exhausted and on the verge of passing out in a chair, and that place is not in your probably depressing, tiny campus kitchen. So something quick and easy, filling, and with a few vegetables so you don’t get scurvy and die.

So what do you make? An omelette? Nah, that’s far too put together and fancy for the zombie that is a college student. So the clear solution is to make what’s basically the exact same thing, except less pretty: the breakfast scramble.

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Bless the breakfast scramble, that supreme god king of foods. You’re always there for me when I need you.

Throw some stuff in a pan. Onions, mushrooms, maybe, spinach, basil. Cook them. Beat your eggs, maybe with some milk or half and half or cream or water, if you swing that way. (Don’t use milk. Don’t be that guy) Add your beaten eggs – which any self respecting college student will whisk with a fork and not an actual whisk, because who the hell has the motivation to get a whisk? – to the stuff in the pan. Add some cheese, maybe. Season. I will fight anyone that tries to tell you that thyme, salt, and pepper isn’t the perfect seasoning combination for this saviour of a meal. Cook until done. Dump onto a plate. Eat.

Has there ever been a meal so satisfying? So delicious at two in the morning when you’re finally back from the library and starving? If you add a piece of toast to it, you can even say you’ve had all your food groups! The breakfast scramble: a godsend, and the patron saint of tired students. How we love you.

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